Thursday, March 27, 2008

Entry for March 27, 2008 - I miss my son

Anyone who has read this blog knows how I keep praying that one day the good Lord will bless me with the opportunity to see my son again. It has now been 3 1/2 years since I have had any interaction with him. He is 10 years old now. He will be 11 this summer. Certainly, he is too big for me to carry anymore. I just hope he knows that his father does love him and miss him. I would love to be there for his elementary graduation. I'm sorry, but for some reason, his absence in my life has been impacting me a lot more recently.

This song is what pushed me over the edge today and prompted me to write this. The lyrics of the song impacted me deeply. Christien, like the song says, mi hijo, someday, we'll be together. I love you and I miss you. Never doubt or forget that. Someday... soon.




A piece of advise for women out there, if the father wants to be a part of his child's life, let him. Now every situation is different, and sometimes keeping the child away from them is in the child's best interest, but if you are only doing so out of vindictiveness, or to try to exert some control or superiority over the father, that is just wrong! As much as you love your child, using him/her in that manner does nothing but ultimately hurt your child. How can you think that keeping away someone who loves and cherishes your child for your own selfish reasons not be harmful?

Do you want to know the truth? It hurts, ok? It hurts that I haven't been able to see him grow up, to see his report cards, to expose him to my culture an heritage, to take him to the park, to the beach, to hear him say "Happy Father's Day"(for the last 6 years!), to be a father. You have your revenge. Now can you please stop using our child as a pawn, and let him be a part of my an his older brother's life?

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