The following comment was posted on my MySpace page (http://www.myspace.com/crqri_aka_carlos) by "Justine", someone who had just asked me to be her "friend":
"want to see the real carlos quevedo go to www.courts.state.ri.us click on criminal info search type in his name and click on docket entries HE IS ALSO A DEADBEAT DAD WHO OWS HIS SONS MOTHER 17, 779 !!!..AND HE WAS NEVA MARRIED UNTIL NOW TO HIS STEPSISTER!!..HOW NASTY HUH??"
Hindsight being 20/20, I regretfully deleted this comment. I say regretfully because it gave me a reason to explain a little more about myself on MySpace. Thankfully, I did copy it before I deleted it; I figured the least I could was answer "Justine" back, which I did, with the following e-mail:
"After much deliberation, I decided to delete your comment. I'm not ashamed of my past, mind you, but I did so because I believe that you are basing your assumptions on one side of the story. While what most of what you say is true, it is not accurate. For instance, did she (you know who I mean, because you could not have gotten such accurate information otherwise) happen to mention to you that the large majority of the child support arrears are from when I was actually in the ACI? When I went in, she was receiving $684 / month in support from me. Because of all of the continuances that kept happening while I was in, I never went before the judge to suspend the support during my incarceration. Add the interest, and it all piles up pretty quickly. Incidentally, the interest was supposed to have been suspended when we last went to court and had the support amended, but it wasn't because of some clerical error, so I have to go before the judge again to get it stopped. Essentially, all the payments I have made went solely for the interest (I feel as if I got a loan from Federal Hill!)
If you wish to know my other side, look at http://360.yahoo.com/crqri and view the blog. As you will see, I speak of my incarceration, and my situation. I also speak to my son, whom I have not seen since October 9, 2004, and whom I do miss dearly. Pay particular attention to the entry dated August 25, 2005. Read the whole blog, though. Its purpose is not to get people on my side, it's just my way of vocalizing my feelings. It will give you a better understanding of me. I will be more than happy to personally answer any questions you have. For now, let me answer some of the points you brought up.
You have every right to call me a deadbeat dad, because I can't afford to pay my child support. I am not making the $9 per hour I was making up north that my current payments are based on, so I keep falling farther behind. I barely make enough to pay my bills, sometimes not even that. If I did, any spare money I had would be going up north so I could get to see, or at least talk to, my son. In addition, my eldest son is PDD, so my job options are limited as I have to devote a great deal of time towards his well being. That is also discussed in the blog.
Now all I have to do is file a motion for relief, and I'm sure my payments would be reduced, but, and I'm not making any excuses, the honest truth is I am afraid to go before the judge because I am afraid he will be upset with how little money I am making now. Personally, these guys you hear about who abandon their kids, and don't do anything for them while they drive around in a new Beamer sickens me. Their asses should be thrown in jail just for not wanting anything to do with their kids. The thing is, I want to be a part of my son's life, she just won't let me. But, God-willing, one day that will change. Every day I pray for his well-being, and I pray for God to help me hear some word on how he is doing.
As for my wife, there is no blood relation between us, so how is that nasty? Her mother is married to my father. We did not know each other until we were young adults, and we hated each other, initially. We only started having feeling for each other after we re-met after I was released. Both of our parents were happy of our union, and gave us their blessing. By the way, we're actually divorcing now, so it doesn't really matter.
I hope you take the time to read this completely and also take the time to view my Yahoo blog. I apologize for the length but I figured it was necessary to answer you personally. As I said before, I am more than willing to answer any questions you have. All I ask is that this remain a civil discourse and that you always remember that there are two sides to every story and that somewhere in the middle lies the truth.
Sincerely,
Carlos R Quevedo
A Potential Friend"
By the way, I wonder if she ever saw the movie "Clueless" with Alcia Silvestone. If anyone remembers, the boy she falls in love with and hooks up with in the end was - her step-brother! I'm curious how many people found that nasty when they saw that movie. That's pretty much the same situation I have (for) now.
If anything, at least Justine gave me something to write about here. I can honestly say I have no idea who Justine is, or if she really exists and is not "someone's" alter ego designed to go after me. I usually just approve friend requests and then delete and report them afterwards if they wind up being garbage. Maybe I need to be more selective, but I do believe it is so much easier and fun to be someone's friend. Besides, I like meeting different people. I hope he is real, she does come to this page, and she does read all the posts.
Christien, I hope you are having a great summer and are getting ready for school. Your daddy loves you and misses you!! Que Dios te bendiga y cuida, mi hijo.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Entry for 8/24, 2006 HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTIEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Christien,
I still remember the day you were born. It was a Sunday evening, and it is still one of my happiest memories. I wanted you to know that your daddy hasn't forgotten you. Please believe me son, I want to be a part of your life. If I had it my way, I would be. God will bring you back into my life. He wouldn't keep a father away from a son he loves forever. I hope you can still feel my love. Any time you feel alone, wrap yourself in your arms and know your father is there with you always- if not in body,then at least in spirit. Goodnight, mi hijo, I love you.
I still remember the day you were born. It was a Sunday evening, and it is still one of my happiest memories. I wanted you to know that your daddy hasn't forgotten you. Please believe me son, I want to be a part of your life. If I had it my way, I would be. God will bring you back into my life. He wouldn't keep a father away from a son he loves forever. I hope you can still feel my love. Any time you feel alone, wrap yourself in your arms and know your father is there with you always- if not in body,then at least in spirit. Goodnight, mi hijo, I love you.
Tuesday, August 1, 2006
Hey Christien
Christien,
I just wanted to let you know that Christina gave me your message. I'm still in NC missing you terribly. I was really hoping to have for some time- any time- this summer. I guess God knew how much I was thinkig of and missing you, so he made sure to let me know how you were. I love you. I miss you. I hope to see you soon.
By the way, Aaron also misses you and asks about you all the time.
Cuidate, mi hijo.
I just wanted to let you know that Christina gave me your message. I'm still in NC missing you terribly. I was really hoping to have for some time- any time- this summer. I guess God knew how much I was thinkig of and missing you, so he made sure to let me know how you were. I love you. I miss you. I hope to see you soon.
By the way, Aaron also misses you and asks about you all the time.
Cuidate, mi hijo.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Entry for 6/18, 2006 A Brief Father's Day Letter for Christien
Dear Christien,
It is supposed to be the other way around. A son should be writing to his father, not the other way around. I thought about you all day today, mi hijo. I hope oyu thought of me. I hope they were happy thoughts. I still dream of the day we'll be together again. I would love nothing better than to be surrounded by all of my sons on Father's day. Please know that I love you, I miss you, and if I had my way, we'd still be a part of each others life. I still pray to God that he protect you and keep you safe. One day, we'll be together again my son. Until then, be safe, know that tu papi te ama & your brother misses you.
Goodnight Christien. Sweet dreams
It is supposed to be the other way around. A son should be writing to his father, not the other way around. I thought about you all day today, mi hijo. I hope oyu thought of me. I hope they were happy thoughts. I still dream of the day we'll be together again. I would love nothing better than to be surrounded by all of my sons on Father's day. Please know that I love you, I miss you, and if I had my way, we'd still be a part of each others life. I still pray to God that he protect you and keep you safe. One day, we'll be together again my son. Until then, be safe, know that tu papi te ama & your brother misses you.
Goodnight Christien. Sweet dreams
Entry for June 18, 2006
This article appeared in the Providence Joural, written by Mark Patinkin. It reflect Father's Day pefectly. Enjoy:
Mark Patinkin: Dads get short shrift on Father's Day
01:00 AM EDT on Thursday, June 15, 2006
I've long suspected that people don't care as much about Father's Day as Mother's Day and this proves it.
There was a telling article on an encyclopedia Web site called Answers.com. It called Father's Day "the other parent's day," and laid out some revealing statistics.
In 2005, the National Retail Federation says Americans spent $11.2 billion on gifts for their mothers. They only spent $8.2 billion on gifts for their fathers. This means the public deems moms almost 30 percent more important than dads.
I heard one woman say the real reason for the spending difference is that tons of fathers have flown the coop. I take this analysis as proof that we get no respect.
Here's more proof: The article quoted store clerks saying there is far more last-minute shopping for Father's Day than Mother's Day. I'm picturing people rushing to CVS thinking impatiently, "I guess we have to throw the old dog a bone."
I was watching the movie The Break-up when a character touched on a major truth. He was asked what holidays there were between May and July 4th.
"Well, there's Memorial Day," he said. "There's Flag Day." And then: "Some people recognize Father's Day as a holiday. I don't."
Here's my favorite statistic in the article. It said there's only one area of commerce that goes up significantly on Father's Day.
Collect calls.
You wouldn't do that to your mom. But dads are expected to pay for everything, including gifts for themselves.
Chris Rock, the comedian, has a great riff about this. "Nobody cares about daddy," he says. He talks of how mom gets at least a little gratitude for making dinners and keeping the house. But nobody ever says, "Daddy, thanks for paying for these lights so I can read." Or for the heat. Or the phones.
I got an e-mail the other day with still more proof that people don't take our day seriously.
"Father's Day Vasectomy Study," said the subject line.
It was sent by a Web site called CDPoker.com, which surveyed 5,000 people asking, "Which celebrity do you think needs a vasectomy the most?"
The top votes were Kevin Federline, Tom Cruise, Bobby Brown and Michael Jackson.
No one would dare ask a comparable question about moms on their day. But dads are fair game.
A big part of the problem is nobody knows what to buy a father.
Usually, we get a tie with our hobby on it. There must be entire factories in China that do nothing but print images of golf clubs and fishing rods on fabric. I know one dad who got two cordless drills from his family on separate Father's Days. He rarely uses a drill, but every ad says that's what you should buy dad, so he's stuck with them.
I clicked onto Amazon.com, which trumpeted a list of the "perfect" last-minute Father's Day gifts.
One idea was a Weber grill. Typical. If you bought an ironing board for mom on Mother's Day it would be an insult, but it's fine to buy dad a chore-related item.
Other Father's Day ideas on the site included a Mr. Bar-B-Q cast-ron wok, a mini Go-Anywhere charcoal grill, a Sanyo indoor electric grill and a Smokey Mountain cast-iron cooker-smoker. There was even something called, "The original Grillslinger BBQ toolbelt."
I guess everyone's idea of honoring dads on their day is having them put on an apron and cook.
The only other idea that jumped out was a money clip in the shape of a dollar sign. This "gift," I suppose, is so everyone in the family knows where to find our cash when they need it.
Personally, I've had it. This year, I say it's time for dads to stand up and demand respect.
I'm even willing to take the lead.
Come Sunday, I plan to make a bold statement about Father's Day to anyone who asks.
How do you want your steak?
Mark Patinkin: Dads get short shrift on Father's Day
01:00 AM EDT on Thursday, June 15, 2006
I've long suspected that people don't care as much about Father's Day as Mother's Day and this proves it.
There was a telling article on an encyclopedia Web site called Answers.com. It called Father's Day "the other parent's day," and laid out some revealing statistics.
In 2005, the National Retail Federation says Americans spent $11.2 billion on gifts for their mothers. They only spent $8.2 billion on gifts for their fathers. This means the public deems moms almost 30 percent more important than dads.
I heard one woman say the real reason for the spending difference is that tons of fathers have flown the coop. I take this analysis as proof that we get no respect.
Here's more proof: The article quoted store clerks saying there is far more last-minute shopping for Father's Day than Mother's Day. I'm picturing people rushing to CVS thinking impatiently, "I guess we have to throw the old dog a bone."
I was watching the movie The Break-up when a character touched on a major truth. He was asked what holidays there were between May and July 4th.
"Well, there's Memorial Day," he said. "There's Flag Day." And then: "Some people recognize Father's Day as a holiday. I don't."
Here's my favorite statistic in the article. It said there's only one area of commerce that goes up significantly on Father's Day.
Collect calls.
You wouldn't do that to your mom. But dads are expected to pay for everything, including gifts for themselves.
Chris Rock, the comedian, has a great riff about this. "Nobody cares about daddy," he says. He talks of how mom gets at least a little gratitude for making dinners and keeping the house. But nobody ever says, "Daddy, thanks for paying for these lights so I can read." Or for the heat. Or the phones.
I got an e-mail the other day with still more proof that people don't take our day seriously.
"Father's Day Vasectomy Study," said the subject line.
It was sent by a Web site called CDPoker.com, which surveyed 5,000 people asking, "Which celebrity do you think needs a vasectomy the most?"
The top votes were Kevin Federline, Tom Cruise, Bobby Brown and Michael Jackson.
No one would dare ask a comparable question about moms on their day. But dads are fair game.
A big part of the problem is nobody knows what to buy a father.
Usually, we get a tie with our hobby on it. There must be entire factories in China that do nothing but print images of golf clubs and fishing rods on fabric. I know one dad who got two cordless drills from his family on separate Father's Days. He rarely uses a drill, but every ad says that's what you should buy dad, so he's stuck with them.
I clicked onto Amazon.com, which trumpeted a list of the "perfect" last-minute Father's Day gifts.
One idea was a Weber grill. Typical. If you bought an ironing board for mom on Mother's Day it would be an insult, but it's fine to buy dad a chore-related item.
Other Father's Day ideas on the site included a Mr. Bar-B-Q cast-ron wok, a mini Go-Anywhere charcoal grill, a Sanyo indoor electric grill and a Smokey Mountain cast-iron cooker-smoker. There was even something called, "The original Grillslinger BBQ toolbelt."
I guess everyone's idea of honoring dads on their day is having them put on an apron and cook.
The only other idea that jumped out was a money clip in the shape of a dollar sign. This "gift," I suppose, is so everyone in the family knows where to find our cash when they need it.
Personally, I've had it. This year, I say it's time for dads to stand up and demand respect.
I'm even willing to take the lead.
Come Sunday, I plan to make a bold statement about Father's Day to anyone who asks.
How do you want your steak?
Thursday, June 1, 2006
Add-On Entry for June 01, 2006: More Bush Evidence
I just finished reading this article. To quote Arsenio Hall: "Things that make you go....Hmmm"
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/10432334/was_the_2004_election_stolen/1
I am an unabashed Bush HATER. This quote alone will probably keep Christien away from me, but if this is the only way I can impart wisdom on my son, then I say this: Never be afraid to say how you feel. God gave us emotion for a reason. Use it - constructively. I have said this to all the Bush suppoerters who try to defend the man: "All I know, is when we had a democratic president, I was making $70K with only a high school education, my talent, and my desire to succeed. Now, I can't even get a job at Best Buy." I don't know how much is true or false, all I know isthe press should be asking more questions! Where are this generation's Woodward and Bernstein? Probably playing Halo 24 on their X-Box 360. I mean it's pretty sad that the lone voice of questioning in the media is Keith Olberman?! History was repeated in '04, and I fear it will be again in '06.
Let's get this straight, if the Republicans put a more appealing ticket together in "08, I'll vote for it. I have no loyalty to the Dems. I just want whoever is living in the White House to be the one who America has really picked.
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/10432334/was_the_2004_election_stolen/1
I am an unabashed Bush HATER. This quote alone will probably keep Christien away from me, but if this is the only way I can impart wisdom on my son, then I say this: Never be afraid to say how you feel. God gave us emotion for a reason. Use it - constructively. I have said this to all the Bush suppoerters who try to defend the man: "All I know, is when we had a democratic president, I was making $70K with only a high school education, my talent, and my desire to succeed. Now, I can't even get a job at Best Buy." I don't know how much is true or false, all I know isthe press should be asking more questions! Where are this generation's Woodward and Bernstein? Probably playing Halo 24 on their X-Box 360. I mean it's pretty sad that the lone voice of questioning in the media is Keith Olberman?! History was repeated in '04, and I fear it will be again in '06.
Let's get this straight, if the Republicans put a more appealing ticket together in "08, I'll vote for it. I have no loyalty to the Dems. I just want whoever is living in the White House to be the one who America has really picked.
Entry for June 01, 2006 - Quick Shot Thought
It is amazing to me how people will always reveal themselves, and you are usually the last to know. Or worse, you already know how they are, but you want to believe they can or have changed. One never knows what path life has for you; and it's not always what path you choose, rather, its how you decide to travel down that path that makes the difference. I prefer to keep an open mind, and a posititve attitude, but I always wonder why people find that wierd?
On my desk is a frame I bought from Successories a few years ago. In it is a picture of my sons with the following caption:
"A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...But the world may be differentbecause I was important in the life of a child"
If you have the opportunity to be important, be so. You never know when that opportunity may be taken from you.
Goodnight Christien. Daddy loves you. Aaron misses you. I hope you are doing good in school.
On my desk is a frame I bought from Successories a few years ago. In it is a picture of my sons with the following caption:
"A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...But the world may be differentbecause I was important in the life of a child"
If you have the opportunity to be important, be so. You never know when that opportunity may be taken from you.
Goodnight Christien. Daddy loves you. Aaron misses you. I hope you are doing good in school.
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